Day 1. It’s a start, I’ve followed through, I’ve ignored every temptation from a little sugar and milk in my coffee to popcorn to wine – and now there’s just 29 days to go. Crap. Wait, there’s still 6 hours left today in which I could potentially screw up but I have promised myself that this time, I will make it through. I need to. For me. Not a single other soul but me. What a strange thought for someone whose life is about everybody else.
It’s only 30 days. One month. Those go by at lightning speed these days. Days and weeks become months and years. A biscuit, and half a sugar in tea becomes a slice of cake with decadent frosting; ‘just this once’ becomes ‘just this week’, and before you know it you’re packing on the kilos and one day you see a photo of yourself – well, you know it’s you but you also know it isn’t – You don’t look like that … Do you?
I’m afraid the answer for me is yes, I do look like that. I’m not obese, but I’m not at a weight I’m comfortable with. Using pregnancy as an excuse isn’t going to cut it because that’s long gone. Seeing myself this way is tough, especially when I remember what I looked and felt like before. And this is my time to get back to myself. Not just on the outside, but to regain that confidence that carried me through many moments in my life when all I had was a belief in myself and a knowledge in my ability. It seems the more weight I put on, the less of that person remained. She was squeezed out, smothered in layers of butter, cream, sugar, and carbs. Kinda like a Self-Sundae with the mulch of my former self puréed and suffocating on the bottom of the dish.
Hang on, where was I? Can you see why 30 days of focus might prove difficult for me!? Ok, so back to the 30 day thing. I’m on a strict paleo detox which I attempted before but always went off course. So no sugar, no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no refined carbs, no everything-that-mainstream-society-deems-to-be-food. You know how it goes: popcorn and soft drinks are a must for the cinema, chocolates make a great last minute gift, indulging in pasta and heavy carbs which we wash down with a glass of red on a cold night, every celebration that calls for cake (imagine a party without a cake!). People ask me what on earth will I eat if I’m not allowed what seems like ‘any food’!? Yet the irony is that I’ll be eating great food (and I mean REAL food), my skin will look great, my mood will improve, my so called autoimmune allergies seem to disappear and the bonus – I will lose weight! I show them the pics of the food I’ve eaten (and will eat over the next month) and the usual response is, ‘Wow! That looks amazing! But this isn’t diet food!’ To which I say that yes, indeed, it’s not ‘diet’ food. It’s food for life. Your life is a series of choices (who said that again?) likewise, what you choose to sustain your body with is a fundamental choice for your health and well being as you journey through this life. So choose wisely. I’ve gone off on one again, haven’t I!?
Right, so, I’m excited, I’m nervous but most of all I am ready. I am ready to face this challenge because a challenge it certainly is. I want to push out of my comfort zone and find out what I’m made of again. I’ve gotten lost along the way and so what many think is a weight loss journey is actually a journey where I gain more than I lose. Starting with my passion for writing and cooking, creating this blog to document my ups and downs as I go along is a way to get me to focus and hopefully, be able to write in 29 days time that yes, I did it.
For now, Day 1. Yes, I did it. And I can do it.
I started the day with a cup of black coffee and breakfast was a concoction of spring onions, chilli, mushrooms, tomatoes and eggs. I love chilli. I need chilli. So you’ll find I use it a lot! It was delicious and filling – and not a slice of toast in sight.
Lunch was a, er hem, curried chicken soup. I told you already – I need chilli! It’s a cold winters day and all I wanted was something comforting so chilli plus soup equals happiness. I threw in some baby carrots and chopped courgettes (which thickened it all up rather scrumptiously), used a dried red chilli, turmeric, ground cumin and coriander, and chilli powder to heat things up – seriously, it was just what I needed. Having the leftovers for dinner with some wilted spinach. Yum!
I’d better get back to the mayhem around me but will be reporting back tomorrow! Cheers to Day 1!