Believe it or not, I have no food pics today. I know – it’s a shocker! I had my usual eggy coffee in the morning, and at around lunch time, I snacked on 2 cumin seed crackers (those yummy life bake ones). I guess we all have those days when we just can’t be bothered to eat. We decided takeout was best for dinner because I really wasn’t up to cooking – yes, it does happen! I had some rice-free salmon/prawn bamboo rolls for dinner. They were quite good, but I am biased because I love one particular restaurant when it comes to sushi and nothing ever compares! Nonetheless, dinner by candlelight is brilliant, regardless of whether it’s by choice or thanks to loadshedding!
Since there’s not anything in the way of food today, I thought I’d just reflect a bit on this REBOOT, and what it means for me. V4 was a turning point for me. I really feel that it took me to the place I wanted to be – both mentally and physically. That’s the thing – sometimes we expect these miraculous results after the first 30 days (sometimes even less than that!). You hear about people losing 7-8kg in the month and think you’re somehow doing it wrong because you’re lagging behind at 3kg lost, or nothing even. Then you get despondent and want to throw in the towel. See, my belief is that in order to allow new things to unfold in our lives, we have to be willing to, and let go of the things that no longer work for us. (Yes, we’re making a quick stop in the ‘Mind, Body, Spirit’ section now!) So for me (please note that this is purely my experience and not based on any scientific facts!) the first few REBOOTs were very tough and I faltered and restarted and fell again a few times because I just wasn’t as ready as I perceived myself to be. Sure I had the desire to lose some weight … but not really. I don’t think I was quite ready to let that part of myself go … yet. Indeed, I dropped some weight, but it was back on in a flash. I let myself indulge on anything and everything, using the excuse of my broken foot as a reason for my actions. It was really me just saying to myself, I don’t care enough about me right now to care enough about what I eat. That’s the ‘truthiest’ of truths!!
Then, one day, in May 2015, I just decided that it was time to care. I chose 1 June as my starting date, and well, you know the rest because I didn’t shut up about it throughout this blog! And now here I am. Almost 2 months later. Still going. I have finally let go of the psychological bonds that trapped me in a state of dis-ease (this was multi-faceted and if I had to start getting into all that … We’re all going to need a lie down!!). Freeing myself from myself is the only way I can describe it. This is why it finally worked for me and I got the results I was after. Not only was there a desire for it, but the motivation from that voice deep within that spurred me on even when it got tough and quitting seemed the best option; that voice would remind me that yes, quitting is an option, but it isn’t the only option. So I chose wisely, and I’m so glad I did.
Does all this mean that I don’t have hard days? Hell no!! I’m still human! I get down, I feel despondent (aka sorry for myself), but I’ve learnt that the solution to my lows isn’t in a cake, or glass of wine, or sandwich, or anywhere else but right within me. I have the ability to allow myself to be controlled by those negative emotions, or I can be in control of them. Like I’ve said in a previous post … I much prefer to ‘exercise control in all things’!
Nobody else is going to experience this journey the way that I have, because nobody else is me! Likewise, I can’t expect that I’ll see results like some others because I’m not them – we may not even share the same goals. It’s incredible to see the achievements of so many others, and Sleekgeek is an amazing community to be apart of. The inspiration to be found amidst the group is extraordinary! What is important though is that we remember that each of us has a story, each story which will be different from any other, you may not have the ‘highest number of kilos dropped’ or the ‘greatest cm loss’. But that neither discredits your journey nor makes your story any less worthwhile. Even if what you needed was to gain weight, or you needed to reestablish your relationship with food because of an eating disorder (whether you were starving yourself or overrating or any of it), or all you wanted was to drop a few kilos and fit into your favourite jeans again (it could be a size 26, or a 36, or whatever made you feel great and fit and healthy) – all of this matters and is important and equally worthy of celebration.
So what has V5 taught me thus far? It’s reiterated the fact that putting myself in the driver’s seat of my life means that I can safely navigate my way through the windy roads, up and over the hills, coast down the valleys, and any passengers that come along get to experience me at my best.